Robert Gebka's Page

About Me:

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Mind in a Bottle

Once there was a Zen monk who met a middle-aged man on the street, the man was in agony feeling angry, guilty and obviously in emotional distress. Seeing who the Zen master was, he asked him, “ How can I end my misery? I feel so much suffering, like my mind is so tight, locked inside as if in a bottle” the Zen master answered, “ Who told you to get your mind into the bottle in the first place?” and left. After hearing this, the man got enlightened.

Well, I was born in Poland, and have a younger brother. Together with my family I emigrated to Germany at age 9 and then again to South Africa at age 12. I lived in South Africa for 15 years before moving to Windsor, England which is where I have been residing for the past 4 years. I am now in part-time practice as a Hypnotherapist and also work as a Night Manager at a small English hotel.

I have always felt inclined to look for meaning and answers and I somehow never felt satisfied with the knowledge I have had at any given time. My family and childhood upbringing was not an easy experience, filled with a lot of fear, pain and trauma. As a teenager, while in South Africa I experienced a great need to find ways to help myself deal with the many afflictions and behavioural problems, mostly: anxiety, depression and drug addiction, problems which came about mainly due to my early painful childhood experiences. I turned to psychology for answers, but that didn’t really satisfy my innate thirst for self-awareness as well as the concomitant powerful yearning for universal meaning, or rather the “who am I, what am I, what is this life all about?” question.

I continued to look for answers and as a result turned to spirituality and developed an interest in Buddhism. At age 22, soon after completing my Bachelors degree in Metaphysics I decided to attend the one-year Zen Buddhist monastic program at the Fo Guang Shan, African Buddhist Seminary, South Arica. www.nanhua.co.za I remember being really happy at the seminary as I felt I was being understood and life and meaning started to make some sense. After my time at the seminary I took position at NanHua monastery where I was working, learning and teaching. I felt very useful and good about my life, yet my old patterns of anxiety, depression and drug addiction did not really subside. In fact they were stronger than ever before. Somewhere along the way I realised that Avalokiteshvara (Kuan Yin) Bodhisattva had within her the right method I needed in order to make sense of what was going on inside me. I realised that I needed the right skilful means, which was applicable to my personal experience.

Towards the end of my fourth year at Nanhua I felt that NanHua did the best it could and I decided to leave. It was a difficult time for me as I needed to find the strength to re-adjust to the conventional way of life outside the monastery walls. Somehow I managed.

Soon after leaving the protective walls of the monastery I opened a Stress Clinic where I practiced hypnotherapy, stress management and herbal medicine for about a year.

At age 27, after a total of 5 years with the Fo Guang Shan Buddhist order, I moved to England where my exploration and self-understanding continues. By that time I was well aware that my journey to the Dharma would be a combination of the Western/psychotherapeutic approach, namely: finding ways of expression, reclamation, integration and healing of my own repressed feelings and mental states as well as the Eastern/Buddhist approach, namely: contemplation on meaning and existence.

Looking back now, I feel that I have done a lot work on myself in the form of psychotherapy, natural healing and as time goes on I feel as if my mind is rather effortlessly wanting to tune into the Dharma teachings and so I follow that instinct naturally. I have recently realised that it was mainly my own attachment to my thoughts and feelings about the past that caused a lot of the anger and self-hatred, which in turn caused the depression, anxiety and drug addiction. Reflecting back to the Zen story I now realise that that’s what got me into the bottle in the first place. The only thing is, that it took me much longer to get out of the bottle than it took me to get in. So that taught me to be mindful of my attitude towards life and myself. I now choose to have more compassion for myself and others, as it is that quality of Metta or loving kindness that keeps me from getting back into the bottle. Nowadays I have ways of getting out of the bottle rather quickly whenever I do get pulled back in by my unconscious unwholesome mental currents.

I continue my Dharma practice in the form of the healing arts, Buddhist chanting, mindfulness meditation, fostering meaningful relationships with other broad minded or spiritually inclined people.

I feel that each person is different and hence the reflection of Kuan Yin within each one of us has so many arms with so many methods for every one.

This is symbolic of what we can call “skilful means.” I feel it is our own responsibility to find our own individual Path to Self-awareness, a Path that not only satisfies our deep yearning for meaning but also a Path which is practical and applicable to our lives and our day to day complexities.

May you find your own Path to Self-awareness,
may loving kindness and Prajna guide you and inspire you,
may you get in touch with Bodhicitta within you,
may you be healthy and well.

I would also like to extend my gratitude to Dharmavidya and the Amida Trust for inviting me to this cyber space Dharma community where I can express myself with others.

Amitofo
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Amida Membership

Not a member

Faith Background & Affiliation

Not much faith, but rather just a person who is using basic Buddhism in his life

Occupation or Primary Activity

Integrative Hypnotherapist/ Night Manager

Involvement in Spirituality/Religion

July 1998 - Ordained Minister's Diploma
International Metaphysical Ministry, USA

January 1999 - January 2000 - Buddhist Monastic Training at the Fo Guang Shan (Taiwan) African Buddhist Seminary, South Africa- Zen novice monk

April 1999 - Took refuge in Triple Gem under GrandMaster Hsing Yun 48th Ch'an Patriarch (1st Patriarch: Bodhidharma 470 - 543 AD)

January 2000 - January 2004 - Living, studying, working, teaching at at the Nan Hua Buddhist Monastery, South Africa

January 2004 - Present - Finding myself within this universe I guess. Although the true Zen Master would say, "You are here already, nothing to find nothing to loose." he he But I aint a Zen master, although on a deep level I do resonate with this, he he

Engaged in the personal experience of exploring and integrating psychotherpy and Zen. How? Personal analysis, Pureland Chanting, Zen meditation, establishing meaningful Dharma relationships, being supportive ot other individuals, exploring matters of masculinity and sexuality and so on the journey continues......

What is your interest in Amida Trust

I am happy with my own humble little Sangha and joined the online Amida Group to make contact with like minded people

How did you find this web site?

Through a mutual Dharma friend

What country are you living in?

Great Britain

What is the nearest town to where you live? If in UK, please give first half of your postcode. Thank you.

Windsor, London

Are you a member of an Amida group/Congregation

not at the moment

Have you visited

None of these

What can you offer to other members of this network?

Guide, Expertise

What other interests do you have, eg Arts, Gardening and so on.

I love nature, exploring the natural and wacky healing methods, watching stars, Jungian psychology, listening to music and being lazy he he

Website:

http://www.robertgebka.org

Skype/Aim/Msn details

robertgebka@hotmail.com