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Friendship with the Good
In the Samyutta Nikaya there is a very famous passage that refers to a time when the Buddha is visiting the Shakya country. This is, of course, his home land. He must have had many friends and relatives there. On this occasion, Ananda approaches the Buddha and says, "Lord, surely friendship with the good is the half of this religious life." The Buddha replies, "Don't say that, Ananda, for friendship with the good is the whole of the religious life."
This is a crucially important passage and we will do well to fully understand it. In order to do so it is useful to consider the whole passage, because the Buddha does not stop at just this observation, but goes on to elaborate. In this elaboration several very important points come to the surface that give us insight into how the Dharma is to be understood and practised.
A first important point is that there is here an implication about different kinds of friendship. The Buddha often speaks about "keeping good company". Clearly not everything that is called friendship is necessarily improving. Common friends are often those who actually encourage us in all our worst habits. They are our drinking companions. They support our prejudices. They take our side even when we are wrong. They join with us in exploits that we might be better to steer clear of. Friends egg each other on, often in activities that are not wholesome. The Buddha sees full well that we are vulnerable beings. Although there might be a spiritual ideal that would be a state in which one was immune to temptation, in reality we are all vulnerable and prone to foolishness, folly and even evil, especially when led or encouraged by others. On the other hand, and by the same token, when we are in the company of the good we respond and there is an influence that works upon us independently of any particular effort that we may make toward self reform.
A second important point is that by "the good" we are pre-eminently to understand "the Buddha". The Buddha is the most good. Shakyamuni Buddha knows that he has become one who is reliable and is a consistently wholesome influence upon those around him, just as the thought of Buddhas of the past is a consistently good influence upon him. In fact, near the end of this short discourse Shakyamuni stops saying "friendship with the good" and substitutes "friendship with me". This makes this text parallel with the passage at the end of the Snake Simile Sutta in the Majjhima Nikaya where the Buddha says, "All those who simply have faith in me are headed for heaven."
Now this is important for us because there has been a tendency in Western Buddhism to present Buddhism as free from this kind of centredness upon the Buddha - to make it into a self-development technique that one pursues independently - but Buddhism begins with "Taking Refuge in Buddha". To be a Buddhist is to go to Buddha for one's refuge. In fact, this may well be the only point either of dogma or practice that all Buddhist schools actually do agree about. So let us repeat, the whole of the Buddhist religious life consists of friendship with the Buddha.
Thirdly, in the middle part of the discourse, Shakyamuni develops the idea that friendship with the good is the core of the religious life by saying that if a person is established in friendship with the good then it may readily be expected that such a person will practise the eightfold path. Now the important thing to note here, I suggest, is that this makes practise of the eightfold path an outcome of friendship with the good. Here the path is not presented as a means to an end but as the end resulting from spiritual friendship. If I enter into a true friendship with Buddha then it is natural that I shall increasingly practise those virtues that constitute the eightfold path. It will happen naturally. First comes faith in the Buddha. Out of this will come improvement. This is like walking in the rain - one gradually gets wet. By placing oneself within the Buddha's gravitational field, as it were, one will be influenced. One's old karma will gradually be superceded. From a Pureland point of view, we can say, by establishing nembutsu, which is the simple expression of one's friendship with Buddha, at the centre of one's life, one puts oneself in a position where the virtue teachings of Buddhism will gradually become realities in one's own life. This is a function of other power. We do not become virtuous by our own power and thus acquire something, we place ourselves in Buddha's field and we start to become more virtuous.
Now we come to a fourth point which is also of great importance. The Buddha not only says that people who have friendship with the good will start to practice the eightfold path, but also that they will do so in the right way and the right way, we are told, is with dispassion and detachment. Now this is not a teaching limited to this passage. The Buddha talks about dispassion and detachment innumerable times in the sutras. In fact, I find it rather astonishing that there has come to be a widespread idea that the Buddha taught oneness and non-duality for which there is little if any support in the sutras when in fact, again and again, what he does teach is separation. Far from saying that the way to have right view is to view other things as part of oneself and oneself as part of other things, the Buddha teaches the direct opposite. The notion of "inter-being" seems to be no part of Shakyamuni's teaching. The teaching of oneness was, in fact, widespread in the India of Shakyamuni's time and it's slogan was "Thou art That" implying that all things are united in Brahma. The Buddha, at the very beginning of his ministry and consistently throughout it, quite consciously and deliberately adopted the slogan "Thou are not that" as the hallmark of his teaching. The last thing that Buddha wanted was for his disciples to believe in a merging oneness of all things. His method was much more that of deconstruction, separation, and respect. He wanted us to find a way to have clean relationships with others and to see them respectfully as others. Even in relation to the elements that we are inclined to see as part of ourself, the Buddha emphasised their separateness... You are not your feelings; you are not your form; your are not your mental formations.... and so on.
We can similarly assume, therefore, that that was also the kind of relationship that he wanted to have with us. To have friendship with Buddha does not mean that Buddha and I become one or that he becomes or enters into me or I become him or anything of that kind. Buddha does not want me to become him, he wants me to be fully developed as a spiritual being in my own right. He called this ekagata - singular-going-ness. The image is of clean, non-cloying, respectful relation. The kuruna (compassion) of a Buddha is not in the least dependent upon a sense of oneness or similarity with the object of compassion. A Buddha has compassion even for a being who is totally unlike himself. This is just as well given how little we mostly manage to be like Buddhas ourselves. This is why we say, "Just as you are."
So this short passage in the Samyutta incorporates several of the key principles of what Buddhism is about and it does appear to me that these are principles that are sound, and that are at the core of so many of the Buddha's discourses, but also that they are one's that contemporary Western Buddhism (and much Eastern Buddhism too) has somehow drifted way from and lost sight of.
If I were to summarise the central import of this passage I would say that it is the Buddha's teaching on non-possessive love. He is saying that the core of the Dharma is non-possessive love, that such non-possessive love is most fully embodied in Buddhas, that by placing ourselves in friendship with Buddhas this non-possessive love will rub off on us, that non-possessiveness means detachment - a clean, respectfulness.
This teaching is completely in accord with the basic Pureland perspective that recognises that we are foolish, vulnerable, even evil beings that cannot attain perfection of virtue or purity of mind by our own power, but can be changed profoundly by placing ourselves in the orbit of the great compassion of the Tathagata, that is, by taking refuge.
This is a crucially important passage and we will do well to fully understand it. In order to do so it is useful to consider the whole passage, because the Buddha does not stop at just this observation, but goes on to elaborate. In this elaboration several very important points come to the surface that give us insight into how the Dharma is to be understood and practised.
A first important point is that there is here an implication about different kinds of friendship. The Buddha often speaks about "keeping good company". Clearly not everything that is called friendship is necessarily improving. Common friends are often those who actually encourage us in all our worst habits. They are our drinking companions. They support our prejudices. They take our side even when we are wrong. They join with us in exploits that we might be better to steer clear of. Friends egg each other on, often in activities that are not wholesome. The Buddha sees full well that we are vulnerable beings. Although there might be a spiritual ideal that would be a state in which one was immune to temptation, in reality we are all vulnerable and prone to foolishness, folly and even evil, especially when led or encouraged by others. On the other hand, and by the same token, when we are in the company of the good we respond and there is an influence that works upon us independently of any particular effort that we may make toward self reform.
A second important point is that by "the good" we are pre-eminently to understand "the Buddha". The Buddha is the most good. Shakyamuni Buddha knows that he has become one who is reliable and is a consistently wholesome influence upon those around him, just as the thought of Buddhas of the past is a consistently good influence upon him. In fact, near the end of this short discourse Shakyamuni stops saying "friendship with the good" and substitutes "friendship with me". This makes this text parallel with the passage at the end of the Snake Simile Sutta in the Majjhima Nikaya where the Buddha says, "All those who simply have faith in me are headed for heaven."
Now this is important for us because there has been a tendency in Western Buddhism to present Buddhism as free from this kind of centredness upon the Buddha - to make it into a self-development technique that one pursues independently - but Buddhism begins with "Taking Refuge in Buddha". To be a Buddhist is to go to Buddha for one's refuge. In fact, this may well be the only point either of dogma or practice that all Buddhist schools actually do agree about. So let us repeat, the whole of the Buddhist religious life consists of friendship with the Buddha.
Thirdly, in the middle part of the discourse, Shakyamuni develops the idea that friendship with the good is the core of the religious life by saying that if a person is established in friendship with the good then it may readily be expected that such a person will practise the eightfold path. Now the important thing to note here, I suggest, is that this makes practise of the eightfold path an outcome of friendship with the good. Here the path is not presented as a means to an end but as the end resulting from spiritual friendship. If I enter into a true friendship with Buddha then it is natural that I shall increasingly practise those virtues that constitute the eightfold path. It will happen naturally. First comes faith in the Buddha. Out of this will come improvement. This is like walking in the rain - one gradually gets wet. By placing oneself within the Buddha's gravitational field, as it were, one will be influenced. One's old karma will gradually be superceded. From a Pureland point of view, we can say, by establishing nembutsu, which is the simple expression of one's friendship with Buddha, at the centre of one's life, one puts oneself in a position where the virtue teachings of Buddhism will gradually become realities in one's own life. This is a function of other power. We do not become virtuous by our own power and thus acquire something, we place ourselves in Buddha's field and we start to become more virtuous.
Now we come to a fourth point which is also of great importance. The Buddha not only says that people who have friendship with the good will start to practice the eightfold path, but also that they will do so in the right way and the right way, we are told, is with dispassion and detachment. Now this is not a teaching limited to this passage. The Buddha talks about dispassion and detachment innumerable times in the sutras. In fact, I find it rather astonishing that there has come to be a widespread idea that the Buddha taught oneness and non-duality for which there is little if any support in the sutras when in fact, again and again, what he does teach is separation. Far from saying that the way to have right view is to view other things as part of oneself and oneself as part of other things, the Buddha teaches the direct opposite. The notion of "inter-being" seems to be no part of Shakyamuni's teaching. The teaching of oneness was, in fact, widespread in the India of Shakyamuni's time and it's slogan was "Thou art That" implying that all things are united in Brahma. The Buddha, at the very beginning of his ministry and consistently throughout it, quite consciously and deliberately adopted the slogan "Thou are not that" as the hallmark of his teaching. The last thing that Buddha wanted was for his disciples to believe in a merging oneness of all things. His method was much more that of deconstruction, separation, and respect. He wanted us to find a way to have clean relationships with others and to see them respectfully as others. Even in relation to the elements that we are inclined to see as part of ourself, the Buddha emphasised their separateness... You are not your feelings; you are not your form; your are not your mental formations.... and so on.
We can similarly assume, therefore, that that was also the kind of relationship that he wanted to have with us. To have friendship with Buddha does not mean that Buddha and I become one or that he becomes or enters into me or I become him or anything of that kind. Buddha does not want me to become him, he wants me to be fully developed as a spiritual being in my own right. He called this ekagata - singular-going-ness. The image is of clean, non-cloying, respectful relation. The kuruna (compassion) of a Buddha is not in the least dependent upon a sense of oneness or similarity with the object of compassion. A Buddha has compassion even for a being who is totally unlike himself. This is just as well given how little we mostly manage to be like Buddhas ourselves. This is why we say, "Just as you are."
So this short passage in the Samyutta incorporates several of the key principles of what Buddhism is about and it does appear to me that these are principles that are sound, and that are at the core of so many of the Buddha's discourses, but also that they are one's that contemporary Western Buddhism (and much Eastern Buddhism too) has somehow drifted way from and lost sight of.
If I were to summarise the central import of this passage I would say that it is the Buddha's teaching on non-possessive love. He is saying that the core of the Dharma is non-possessive love, that such non-possessive love is most fully embodied in Buddhas, that by placing ourselves in friendship with Buddhas this non-possessive love will rub off on us, that non-possessiveness means detachment - a clean, respectfulness.
This teaching is completely in accord with the basic Pureland perspective that recognises that we are foolish, vulnerable, even evil beings that cannot attain perfection of virtue or purity of mind by our own power, but can be changed profoundly by placing ourselves in the orbit of the great compassion of the Tathagata, that is, by taking refuge.
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