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Love and Its Disappointment

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A place to discuss the themes arising from the book 'Love and Its Disappointment: The meaning of life, therapy and art'

Members: 56
Latest Activity: 17 hours ago

Welcome

Love and Its Disappointment: The meaning of life, therapy and art is published on 25 August 2009 by O Books

Themes
# Love as the primary drive in life
# It's inevitable frustration and disappointment
# The growth of character
# Other-centred psychotherapy
# Art as therapy of society as a whole
# The relationship between beauty, inspiration and other power
# The nature of the therapeutic relationship
# Finding the meaning of life

Endorsements
Mary Midgely, philosopher: This book outlines a really useful new position on centrally important points in psychology
Julia Samuel, Hon. Fellow of Imperial College: Brilliant, a compelling book... a power house of thought... The thesis that we are motivated by love, the inherent irony of existence - that as loving beings we are inevitably thwarted, and how we manage that - and how art and therapy can help us think about them, process them, inform us and occasionally heal us.
Robert Wicks, Catholic, author, Professor, Loyola University: ideal reflective material for both professionals and searchers seeking to live "the honourable life" - not only educates and helps us think differently but also, in Iris Murdoch's words, it "inspires love in the part of us that is most worthy."
Nathan Katz, Jewish, Professor of Religious Studies, Florida International University:
This is just what we need: a psychology based not on raw sex, or power, or fear, or mystical obscurantism, but on love and beauty. It is a book for all of us, professional and lay, western and eastern, skeptical and credulous.
Gregg Krech, Buddhist, author of books on Naikan and Constructive Living: Wise, insightful, compassionate observations that teach us that we find love not in ourselves but in that which we are devoted to - a thought-provoking paradigm in which love, art, spirituality and psychotherapy attempt to dance together.

Where to Buy the Book
Amazon.com: http://www.amazon.com/Love-Its-Disappointment-Meaning-Therapy/dp/1846942098/
Amazon.co.uk: http://www.amazon.co.uk/Love-Its-Disappointment-Meaning-Therapy/dp/1846942098/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1249838476&sr=1-1
We shall also have copies for sale at The Buddhist House in England.

Discussion Forum

The Importance of Ordinary Love 18 Replies

Started by Dharmavidya. Last reply by Caroline Screen 17 hours ago.

Getting the right distance 12 Replies

Started by Tara. Last reply by Tara Nov 17.

You Don't Have to Love Yourself 13 Replies

Started by Dharmavidya. Last reply by Katrien Sercu Oct 15.

Comment Wall

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Comment by Katrien Sercu on October 18, 2009 at 11:59am: I got the book 'Love and its Disappointment' by post and i started to read, slowly, with a dictionary, inspired and longing to understand and experience, opening my mind and heart for essential truth. To name Love as the most essential drive in life is so embedding and trustful, mostly towards difficulties or badness. It brings the world and life more to a connected whole. Thank you Dharmavidya

Comment by dean haywood on August 25, 2009 at 11:15am: iam really looking foreward to reading this book,as i have been married twice and divorced twice i think i need it.namo amida bu

Comment by Katrien Sercu on August 24, 2009 at 7:41pm: While writing previous mail, there is a wunderful sunset at the left side of the house and a wunderful rainbow at the front side of the house! Namo Amida Bu

Comment by Katrien Sercu on August 24, 2009 at 7:36pm: How can we buy the book from Belgium, Dharmavidya? In this coming weekend we meet with the sangha in Redu (Ardennes) and i'll ask who wants the book. Then after the weekend i should mail how much books we need here in Belgium and some more for the people i'll meet later.
Tomorrow the book is there! Congratulations and thank you for writing it.

Comment by Francine Kenny on August 22, 2009 at 12:15am: Dear Dharmavidya, Many people including myself were raised with the ten commandmants, the first being Love your neighbour as yourself. It follows that many of the problems that exist in regards to self-love start here. It indicates that one must love onself before loving others but I believe that one never really arrives at the point of loving oneself first, therefore may never getting around to doing for others. The other side of that is that doing for others can be another way of identifying the self. So loving others without self interest being involved seems a difficult thing to do. Of course that is no reason not to try.
Francine Kenny

Comment by Ratnacitta on August 10, 2009 at 7:26pm: Looking forward to the discussions.........Another tasty looking book from Dharmavidya....thanks so much for the tremendous amount that you have given in your erudite, witty and telling writing in the past.....
You are a gem !!
Love,
Peter

Comment by Cristina Longo on August 9, 2009 at 8:54pm: Congratulations Dharmavidya, yes love should be the primary drive in life, the act of painting has to have love to be meaningful

Comment by caroline brazier on August 9, 2009 at 8:20pm: Congratulations on this exciting latest book

Comment by Katrien Sercu on August 9, 2009 at 5:53pm: When you told in Eastern, Dharmavidya, in Amida France, that this book was coming out in sepember, i was very enthousiastic and inspired, because the content of the tittle is so real, so human, so to the point and recognizable: maybe this is the essence of the suffering in human nature? Si i first want to buy and read this book, taste it, think, feel and experience with it on a quiet way.
I'm not able to come on the 19 and 20 septembre..rerettable.
I want to congratulate you Dharmavidya with this book, even when i did not read it yet. I know that my deepest longing is to be loved and to love. I'm on the Path to become able to express the longing to love first, in trust that i'm loved enough by human and by Amida (still egocentric)! I believe that Love is the most beautiful and necessary power, when it is pure and unselfish. It makes Life and the world wohlesome and whole, in little and in big..
How can we buy this book in Belgium, please?

Comment by Heather Woollard on August 9, 2009 at 1:05pm: I think love is inevitably frustrating and disappointing when it comes from the small self and never from the true self. I also think it could be difficult to discuss these ideas without defining (at least loosely) what is meant by "love" and the "small" or "true" self. To me the word love has many different connotations and uses. It is a feeling of happiness, joy, and connection that one feels for another. I deliberately leave out words like caring, pride and so on because i think those words are mingled with attachment...with what the other person does for us, triggers in us. Love itself, free of attachment (I believe) is the untainted and pure feeling of joy that arises in connection to another being. As far as "small self" I mean the ego or our sense of identity. As far as the true self I refer to our life essence. I think when our small self is involved in love it is inevitably frustrating because our conceptions of love are formed in relation to our identity. Our love for others is conditional on how another makes us feel from moment to moment. Love between the egos of two people will be strong when the relationship strengthens their senses of identity. True love however comes from the true self. It is not dependent on causes such as the fulfillment of expectations and the adherence of another to one's own beliefs. True love is untouched by cause. It is spontaneous and unconditional.