Bottling it up 'can ease trauma'

[caroline brazier]

This article came from BBC web site. What do people think?

People's reactions to the 9/11 attacks were recorded
People who do not talk about traumatic experiences can fare better than those who "let it all out", say researchers.

The University at Buffalo study compared the progress of 3,000 people who took different approaches over two years following the 9/11 attacks.

It found people initially unwilling to talk were less likely to be adversely affected two years later.

But a UK psychologist said that other studies had suggested that for many people talking did help.

We should be telling people there is likely nothing wrong if they do not want to express their thoughts and feelings after experiencing a collective trauma

Dr Mark Seery
University at Buffalo

The popular advice that it is better to talk about your feelings after a trauma has been the subject of dozens of different research projects.

This latest one involved 3,000 people who completed online surveys in the days immediately following the 2001 attacks and over the course of the next two years.

Those taking part had not lost a loved one or friend.

People who took part were allocated to different groups depending on whether they said that they felt ready to express their feelings or not.

If the assumption that it is healthier to talk about feelings is correct, then the researchers, led by Dr Mark Seery, would expect to see those who were initially uncommunicative coping worse over time with their traumatic memories.

However, the reverse was true, and those who chose not to talk appeared to be in better psychological shape.

Coping well

Dr Seery, whose work was published in the Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, said: "We should be telling people there is likely nothing wrong if they do not want to express their thoughts and feelings after experiencing a collective trauma.

"In fact, they can cope quite successfully and, according to our results, are likely to be better off than someone who does want to express his or her feelings."

Professor Stephen Joseph, who specialises in trauma following disasters, said that it was important not to generalise about the "right" approach for all patients.

He said that other studies had suggested that for many people, talking about their experiences with the support of proper counselling, was the correct road to recovery.

He said: "Those people who wanted to express their feelings immediately after 9/11 may have been those who were most deeply affected by it, so it is not entirely unsurprising that they may still have symptoms two years later."

[Emma]

I think it depends on the individual and the type of emotional and mental trauma experienced. For some people bottling it up stiffles them and then in years to come it shows up as emotional and behavioural problems, and sometimes physical problems, maybe not 2 years but certainly in the future someday events do come back and haunt you. Sometimes the only way foward is for people to "let it out" and "Let it go" otherwise a whole number of unexplained conditions arrise where they never happened before the traumatic period happened.

[caroline brazier]

I've been reading the recent postings on this question. Some of them are very moving. Thank you, and deep appreciation. It is fascinating how this topic has grabbed people - clearly a lot of energy in it.

Another thought I had was about the role of 'the story' in dealing with painful memories. It does seem to me that sometimes having a story creates a sort of meta-level of experience which can be related to in place of the actual memory. The story becomes a sort of container, distancing the pain by putting it into a frame. It can be re-told and elaborated at varying degrees of emotionality.

So telling the story may be a way to contact emotion, but it may also be a way to distance it. It does seem a very basic need in any emotive situation to create a storyline. Early counselling may help to set this story in the person's mind.

Once again, I don;'t think this question has an absolute answer but it is good to hear of experiences and reflections

[Lisa McCann]

What an amazing, loving group of people we have here! As an academic advisor I find that some of my job washes over into to counseling territory, and all of your responses have helped me tremendously in my work with students. Since I am an academic advisor, I have no formal credentials (my master's degree is in English/Communication Development) although I have found that my students go to whoever they are most comfortable with--I sometimes think that my real job title should be something like "Den mother." Given these disclaimers, here are my thoughts and experiences related to our question:
1) I try to know my students as well as possible, which I hope will make them comfortable if difficulties arise for them. I frequently refer troubled students to our counseling office, and I personally followup with them to see how things are going. Students sometimes feel the need to talk to me repeatedly about a trauma, and some students just come in and cry without saying a word. Some students just seem to need a sounding board or a safe place to vent, and others to realize that they are more than the "c" they received in organic chemistry. I have students that have never been hugged by a family member, and I have students who have parents who fly them home every weekend! A student of mine who passed away last summer had a quote on her facebook page that said "love like you'll die tomorrow; live like you'll learn forever." I like that.
1) as a child of significant trauma, I found that writing and playing music was the safest and best outlet for my feelings. For me, there was nothing more healing that putting effort into something and finding out that I had a talent, and that my talent would give back to me, in confidence, exactly what I gave to it in terms of effort--much more reliable that talking to any of my family or friends at that time in my life. It was great to have that outlet, because my parents were not the type to place stock in therapists--they were much more of a "spare the rod, spoil the child" kind of folk.
2) As an adult, I found that I did have some residual issues that needed talking about, and I, at that time, sought out the help of a clinical social worker who helped me tremendously. As my understanding grew, my need to talk about it lessened, and I found that compassionate concern for others was incredibly helpful in my healing process. I completely agree with Joan that the presence and the quality of listening make all the difference for those who struggle, whether talking or not.
3) my daughter, now 28, suffered a significant trauma, when, at age 8, she lost her best friend to AIDS-related complications. My daughter's friend was the child of Iraqi parents who had lived in the United States as students when their daughter was born--and because of a congenital heart defect the child contracted AIDS from being transfused with contaminated blood. This child returned to the United States for treatment right at the time that the first U.S./Iraqi war had broken out, so this poor child was constantly in fear regarding her parents safety--she was also the very first child with AIDS in our school district, which caused many parents concern. When Ban died (on Christmas day) I wondered how my daughter would fare, and I had some concern that she was not talking about her loss. Not knowing quite what to do, I checked a book out of our local library that had been written by AIDS victim Ryan White, a child who had not been able to attend school in Cicero, Illinois, due to hostility to his presence there. I put the book in my daughter's bedroom and continued to be as supportive as I could. My daughter (now 28) recently told her Dad and I that she read the book and used to kiss Ryan's picture everyday as her way of coping with the loss of her friend. We still feel the loss all these years later, but are happy that knowing Ban helped us understand the value of compassion.

In Gassho--Lisa

[Dharmavidya]

It was apparent when I was in Sarajevo that the biggest need was often to 'tell the story'. However, telling was a risky thing to do. As an outsider one was safer than local people who all had had some involvement in the terrible events that had gone on before. Just as a listener I was deeply affected. Hearing a person's story is like being given a precious treasure. Briefly one has become that person's 'object of refuge' and this feels like an incredible honour. One is aware that whatever worthiness one has to receive this is a function of transient circumstances. In this sense, as Buddhists, our function is to create the conditions for refuge for people. Even if what we can offer is only ephemeral, eternity resides in that brief encounter.

[caroline brazier]

I agree with this. Telling the story and being heard can be very healing. In a way, it requires an act of faith to listen in this way. So often the impulse is to fix, and yet in many human situations things cannot be fixed. As listeners we can feel we hve to do more and we can feel ill at ease with our powerlessness. This is where I think recognising our ordinary nature, our place as fellow travellers and our impotence in the face of many life events is so valuable. It prevents us from responding from a place of pride and attachment (I'm the best therapist, I want to make you better) and frees us to listen deeply and caringly

Dharmavidya said:

It was apparent when I was in Sarajevo that the biggest need was often to 'tell the story'. However, telling was a risky thing to do. As an outsider one was safer than local people who all had had some involvement in the terrible events that had gone on before. Just as a listener I was deeply affected. Hearing a person's story is like being given a precious treasure. Briefly one has become that person's 'object of refuge' and this feels like an incredible honour. One is aware that whatever worthiness one has to receive this is a function of transient circumstances. In this sense, as Buddhists, our function is to create the conditions for refuge for people. Even if what we can offer is only ephemeral, eternity resides in that brief encounter.

[andrea]

every trauma has his own origin . and so its healing ..
i lost my langauge .. couldnt write long time and be concentrated .. and society punished me .. to go through these affairs makes a human stronger .. and from time to time its good not telling anything just life and laugh

[Peter Davies]

I think it is important to differentiate between "bottling it up" and "letting go." The article states that the witnesses to the tragedy who did not talk about it afterwards tended to fare better. However, it is not known if they were bottling up their feelings as suggested, or whether they had learnt to let go and hence did not have the need to talk about it. Reminds me of all those encounter groups years ago where letting the anger out was all the rage (pun intended!). More recent research shows that beating up of pillows and dolls only intensified the anger and resentment and was not a cathartic release as suggested at the time.
So, it's not really important whether talking about a trauma or not relieves stress. The question is which of these are better at helping people "let go"? For some that would entail not talking about it and for others talking about it. As true in all forms of psychotherapy, the correct approach depends on the needs of the particular client in front of you.

[Peter Davies]

It is important to differentiate between "bottling it up" and "letting go." Some individuals need to talk things through in order to let go, while others let go by not talking. As is the case in all types of psychotherapy, the approach taken needs to depend on the coping mechanism of the person sitting in front of you.

[caroline brazier]

I agree. I think it is also difficult to know when one has really let something go. Often people think that they have got over an incident but then years later memories come flooding back. In particular I'm doubtful that we can let go of something as an act of will, though we can distract ourselves by putting our attention into other things.

Peter Davies said:

It is important to differentiate between "bottling it up" and "letting go." Some individuals need to talk things through in order to let go, while others let go by not talking. As is the case in all types of psychotherapy, the approach taken needs to depend on the coping mechanism of the person sitting in front of you.