My First Week With Amida

[Richard]

I knew next to nothing about pureland Buddhism before coming across this site and others like it. As I had begun reading “The Other Buddhism” by Caroline Brazier I decided to join to explore more. I am not used to posting on forums much about my own experiences feeling they were not likely to be of interest to anyone else but this seems a friendly forum that encourages contributions from anyone so I thought I’d have a go.
Coming from a Christian perspective I was struck by the similarities between Honen’s discovery of the near-impossibility of self-perfection and that of St Paul as he describes it in his New Testament letters. Of course there are differences but the essential discovery of one’s powerlessness to pull oneself up by one’s bootstraps seems the same. It is an experience I relate to. So I began to think in my daily life about Amida. I have not yet heard chanting Namo Amida Bu and have not found it easy to chant, or even think this phrase with any sense of meaning or of being in contact with any being. I have found, though, that Amida would come to mind on those frequent occasions when I was dissatisfied with myself in some way. Amida’s first lesson seems to have been to make me very aware of how much I nag and condemn myself for all kinds of failings. I had some awareness of this before and have tried to stop it, but now it’s more a matter of just thinking of Amida as a being who is not judging me but accepting me as I am -- including those faults plus the additional fault of self-condemnation. To remember Amida instantly changes the mood and allows a self-acceptance to follow.
Today I also remembered Amida in the middle of bout of mental criticisms against someone else. Previously I’ve found those moods have a certain momentum and even telling myself to stop it is often not effective. This time it was different. Remembering Amida was enough to blow away those negative thoughts; I just relaxed and let it go. It’s as if I have a new friend who is always there to help me and make easy those changes I’d found hard before. Of course, this is still just skimming the surface of pureland Buddhism; there is a great deal I still don’t know. Also I can feel quite scared at times about letting go of Christianity -- not the religion as such, but a feeling of disloyalty to the person of Christ, for whom I still have a deep regard and a feeling of gratitude. But at 56 it is not surprising that I might find the possibility of changing my religion a bit more difficult than changing my socks. So I still regard myself as an explorer rather than a committed Buddhist.
I would welcome any comments on this post.

[Kaspalita]

Thank you for sharing your experince, it's wonderful to hear about how Amida manifests in different peoples lives.

[Susthama]

Hi Richard,

I, too, feel that there are a lot of similarities between many religions, in this case Christianity and Buddhism. The contrast between the divine being and the vulgar earthly human or the infinite and the finite or relative and absolute is what most religions have in common. We relative, vulgar, finite beings need a greater power to feel connected to and the beauty of religion is that is has such concepts that fill this very human need.

Personally, I too feel very much an explorer and seeker rather than a committed Buddhist. I suppose it is my commitment to exploring things that make me a Buddhist - I'm still not quite sure but the practice of reciting the Nembutsu is a constant reminder that that is what I am opening my heart and mind to.

It's nice to meet you here.

Susthama

[Richard]

Thanks for your response, Susthama. I look forward to our retreat. R

[Jiko]

Hi Richard, I personally believe that all the major religions point the way home for us.Of course I see only the buddha way as the path that explains the truth in the fullest detail.But I have no doubt that a christian,a catholic,or even a muslim will go to the same place that I do,in one way or another.I have studied the king james bible and the koran.From what I know from all the religions and from what my teachers have said to me is that there is only one religion,and its called,"let go & and trust".NAMU AMIDA BU

[Richard]

That is so true, Jiko - let go and trust. And it's something we find difficult!

[Kreb Dragonrider]

As one who have changed religion several times, it takes time to assimilate new ideas from other religions. Just be inspired by Amida Buddha, his aspiration to reach out to all sentient beings, and he allows himself to hear nembutsu from those call on him. I am inspired by that you let yourself be non-judgemental, using faith in Amida to develop the quality of acceptance of others. I find that a lot of my criticism of other people is due to the way they do thing, as opposed to real criticism of grossly immoral behaviour.

[Richard]

Thank you, Kreb, for your reply. You suggest there is a distinction between the way people do things, and grossly immoral behaviour -- a good point and reminder to me that in 'trying to be non-judgemental' I could be suppressing a correct natural rejection of what is really harmful...

Kreb Dragonrider said:

As one who have changed religion several times, it takes time to assimilate new ideas from other religions. Just be inspired by Amida Buddha, his aspiration to reach out to all sentient beings, and he allows himself to hear nembutsu from those call on him. I am inspired by that you let yourself be non-judgemental, using faith in Amida to develop the quality of acceptance of others. I find that a lot of my criticism of other people is due to the way they do thing, as opposed to real criticism of grossly immoral behaviour.

[Dharmavidya]

It is very nice of you to post this item. Thank you. I don't think that one necessarily has to leave much behind. The insights of Christianity are valid enough for the most part. Is it not more a matter of the manner in which one approaches them? There are certainly Christians who are open, wise and compassionate and there are others who believe in a God who condemns beings to hell, excludes sinners and sometimes visits catastrophe upon innocents. Similarly, there are Buddhists who approach the Dharma in a wonderfully wholesome way and there are others who are narrow minded and intolerant. It is the way one orients oneself to the teaching that is often more powerful than the details of doctrine. Doctrine is simply a finger pointing and while it is nice if you can see what it is pointing at, it is perhaps even more important to understand the motivation of the one doing the pointing.

[Robert McCarthy]

Dear Dharmavidya, I too just came across this post and related to the introduction re nembutsu and its effect. Of course also it is how one orients oneself to structure that is more powerful than mere location within the structure. To be located within a nasty political regime is to be a victim until one turns to the regime. and I guess in a Pureland we do not challenge our bombu orientation until we turn to the Pureland.

[Richard]

Dear Dharmavidya,
Thank you for responding to my post. I take your point that examining one's motivation is particularly important with regard to one's religious aspirations and doings. Time can be a factor here--sometimes only later do I see 'what I was up to' in regard to some activity...

[caroline brazier]

Dear Richard

I came across your post rather belatedly. I am touched by what you say, and particularly the loyality you feel to Christianity. Pureland Buddhism has brought me great peace in this respect. I went through periods of deep faith and profound doubt at different stages of childhood - I could hardly say I was brought up Christian, though coming from a family in which my father was a minister, Christianity was always on my horizon as a source of grit.

Buddhism initially gave me relief as I found I could learn to practice without having to sign up to belief in anything, but as I got more involved I experienced some troubled feelings about my instinctive feelings (programmed feelings?) about religion. I missed the social dimension (as Methodists, my father and his father before him had been ardent socialists and activists) and I felt troubled at the inward focus, the lack of spiritual relationship. Gradually I began to discovered ways in which Buddhism could indeed incorporate such threads and the discovery of the outward, other-centred orientation of Pureland was a joy. I felt able to honour and reincorporate the spiritual experiences which had burned so strongly in my period of faith as a child - an experience of spiritual relationship - without the jarring questions which had eventually undermined my faith at a later point.

Now I feel that as bombu we can only partially appreciate the measureless quality of Amida. We reach towards the ultimate but we do not have the last word on what it is in any of our religious frames. So, Christianity or Pureland - hold them lightly and in the spirit of nembutsu reach out of ignorance towards the light which is always partly obscured.

[Richard]

Thank you, Caroline, for your response to my post. I didn't think my post had any mileage left in it so it was a pleasant surprise, so thank you for your encouraging remarks. It surprises me that you say that your father was a minister but you could hardly say you were brought up Christian. Maybe you mean the atmosphere was non-dogmatic?
Since that first week when I felt I was being gently guided I have felt pretty much on my own; there is probably some essential step I have not taken that would move things on. But I'm content to let that become clear in time.
I will and do meantime hold Christianity and Pureland 'lightly' as you suggest.